Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Meatloaf is apocryphal. Yup, there is something primitive about the 'loaf. It seems to call to all cultures, creeds and ethnicities. This doesn't mean it is stagnant. The 'loaf is ever changing, as I found out tonight.

Some of you may remember Athena's comment that she "took an informal poll" and that 'loaf was only batting about .500.

Well, this shook me. Yup, it shook me to my core. Being chief lobbyist of the 'loaf in question, I have a lot of questions to answer on a daily basis. You wouldn't believe how may people get antagonistic over the 'loaf. It would turn your hair white. Well, tonight I went toe to toe, yup, mano y mano, with the official driver of the nice yellow schoolbus to Hell.

Bryce.

He is the anti-christ's official chauffeur. And, boy, does he take his job seriously. He gets excited by sin. And not your run of the mill sin. He takes EVERYONE's name in vein. Every chance he gets he makes bad choices. Simple.

Anyway, needless to say, Bryce voted in the contrary, in Athena's straw poll, about meatloaf. Strangely, growing up in rural Saskatchewan made him anti 'loaf. However counter-intuitive that is , I had to accept it. Saskatchewan has been nothing but a speedbump to me in the past so why should I know anything about the culinary perogatives of the prairie folk, past or present (sorry, Danielle).

Well, Bryce was anti 'loaf. He hated it; didn't understand the purpose. He just couldn't find a place in his heart for the ground baked meat. As many of you know, this is anathema to me, but, also knowing me, it isn't surprising that I didn't approach this situation as a confrontation. Bryce is a friend and if, god willing, I am on that bus, I will need all the help I can get, so I am not going to antagonize him. No sir!

So I brought out the big guns. Yup, the Big'uns! And for a loaf lover like myself this is only one thing. Yup, you guessed it.

Duck!

Bryce's jaw dropped. No, I didn't provide a lead up. I didn't say, "I can convert you". All I did was mention the Duck Burger from the cookbook. He asked for more information and I slammed him.

"Well", I said, "I was only looking at the cookbook because I wanted to expand my options. Every burger can be expanded to a loaf, you know. Think about it... Duckloaf."

You can almost see the jaw as it hits the floor. Maybe you can actually hear it. I did. It was a satisfying mixture of Iggy Pop and *kerplunk*. His only response, weak as it was, was "I love duck. Duck loaf sounds goooood."

No truer words have been spoken. Duck loaf does sound good, doesn't it? It is exciting, very exciting, but expensive. Buying enough ducks, deboned and ground, to fill your average loaf pan will cost you in upwards of $50. That is a lot for a 'loaf, but not out of reach. Inspite of the fact that duck is fatty and will shrink. A lot.

So, what do you do?

Bryce, Athena and myself brainstormed the problem.

The only thing we could come up with was

Triple Glazed Turducken Loaf with a Cranberry Relish

but I will talk about that later.

4 comments:

Bryce said...

mmmm...turducken loaf....gooood

Anonymous said...

I think everyone will agree that my Vegetarian Nut Roast with Miso Gravy is far superior to Peter's Meat Loaf

athena said...

Vegetarian Nut Roast???
Yuk! *shudder*


Anyways Peter I really think you should consider some kind of Thanksgiving-themed meatloaf. It could have stuffing, ground turkey, a cranberry glaze, maybe some mashed potato on top.

mmm....

athena said...

I'm actually reconsidering the name "turducken".

Is it okay that it has the word turd in it??